First walk outside in two days has me feeling like —

At the bank, I go around to the ramp to enter the vestibule
as the dude inside is coming out, but it’s raining
and my umbrella is cumbersome so I go around to the ramp
like I mentioned. In a gentle way he says
Sorry — I would’ve let you in. I say,
It’s ok! — I just had the umbrella, and
thank you. Then he says,
nice style which for the rest of the walk
in the winter dark, makes me want
to find a store window and look at myself.
Instead I walk over to the street of only houses
listening to Punisher,
alternating the hand holding the umbrella
when it starts to get cold.
Of course I cry a little during Garden Song,
because even though it’s a new year
the song is the same.

I am celebrating
small gestures
writing practice
self-knowing
my beautiful, credible friends
poetry church
rhizomatic learning
poolside
books books books
and turning the pages
text banking
mask power
emails sent and responses to come
spirals of all kinds
access when possible
care packages
energy limitations
a body of possibility
a heart, broken
a mind, awake.