in stewardship

I am considering
words heard on Friday evening. I listened to
two people, a Black man and a white woman,
in conversation, both aware
that this combination of gender and race is
the most charged in our shared construction of history.

I sat outside, comfortable in
the quiet damp of the evening,
put my phone face-down,
tried to listen well.
I took notes. Today,
I opened my book to revisit
what I wrote down, to try
to remember things
that rose to the surface, by coloring
over the words with crayons.

I colored silver, razzle dazzle rose, lemon yellow, aquamarine over the words embodiment, experiential, conditioning, vibratory, image, sensate, texture, weight, charge.

Phrases like a way of being, tempering your body for discernment, somatic abolitionism, Black bodies aren’t afforded the full grieving process, emergent identity, stripped of meaning, immobilization as a result of complacency, emotions are political, the mind is in every cell of the body, an essential white counterculture must be developed, stay with race.

Questions like,
“What’s the outside pressure you can put on budgetary committees to make more inclusive moves?”
“How can you work on this with your people, doing the work for 3–10 years?”
“What is the difference between dominion and stewardship?”

There was no offering of hope or promise that this moment is the moment when racism will end. There was only the assurance that until much of these ideas are put into regular practice, until things become uncomfortable for a great many folks who have historically enjoyed total comfort and peace, true liberation for all will not come.

This moment is not a magic wand, this moment is carrying the heavy stone.

It is not a Instagram story, it’s native plants reclaiming the landscape.

A tight grip versus an unspooling thread that goes on and on forever.

*These words and quotes are those of Robin DiAngelo and Resmaa Menakem. They were part of a conversation hosted by Education for Racial Equity. You can hear another of their conversations on the On Being podcast.