looking for love
I’m looking for good news.
It turns out that much of my identity was built on things I do, or did. All of these things involved living in and loving New York City. And I really do love this place. I love the subway, I love the beer stink of McSorley’s, I love the F train, the A train, the 6 train. I love the limestone steps of Lincoln Center, I love the pork chop at Vinegar Hill House, the view from Valentino Pier. I love the Mama’s Veggie special at Esposito’s Pork Store, the East Village’s numbered streets, a martini up with the extra in a little glass on the side at Grand Central Oyster Bar, the majesty of the Brooklyn Heights Promenade, Marina at the MoMa, the clam pie and pitchers at Lee’s Tavern. I love black box theaters, tiny Broadway Theaters, book release events at Books are Magic, my dear New Victory Theater where at every education show as the theater goes dark, I cry from the sheer joy of being in a dark theater with hundreds of kids watching a play, a dance, a circus, The Big Apple Circus, a Coors Lite on the Staten Island Ferry, the bar at Frankies always Frankies, the winding turns of the West Village, Verandah street, the secret city gardens tucked away. Give me biodynamic wine and someone who loves to talk about it, give me the dancers on the subway who promise a safe show, no one gets kicked no one gets kicked, give me a smile shared with Yoko One on Broadway, give me one more cocktail at Brooklyn Social or KGB Bar or your place. There is so much to love.
I love New York City.
At a time when so many have left, we are here. We’ve scraped it together here for 11.5 years, but I’m beginning to ask the question many have already been asking: What will be here for us when the fog lifts?
What about theater? What about theater education? What about making theater? What about hospital work? Is there any chance of work as I knew it returning?
The answer to everything is a plodding I don’t know. I look to my close friends to help me locate a different answer, but I’m met with mirrors. In a moment of panic, I filled out an online form for a degree in social work and now they won’t stop calling me to try to schedule a virtual meeting. I never pick up.
When when when will there be a clear sign towards something new? When will there be good news and will it be enough to keep us from having to uproot and plant ourselves elsewhere? And where? Where does my love live now?
