midwinter

I have no shortage of inspiration. Inspirational prompts, inspirational friends, document upon document of inspirational material designed as an offerings to aid in the process of creation. This is not the problem. The problem is that yesterday was more magical than today. The problem is I have no moment in the day that isn’t also occupied by shoulds. Or children. Lately I have to ask that they don’t look over my shoulder and into my phone screen. Maybe this means I should be on my phone less — I digress. The problem is that there is no digital download, no online writers workshop, that can get me to where I can get myself in an empty room with a cup of coffee. I can generate like there’s no tomorrow if you’d just give me two hours.

Even better than that is when a person is there with me. I like writing alongside someone. The keyboard clicks and our breaths syncing imperceptibly. I love the sound. I also like loud and fully embodied ah-ha moments in a big room of people. I like having to wait for the right moment to share it. I like timing, the skill and nuance of it. I have good timing. Always have.

Where should my eyes go on the zoom? Into the pinhole of a camera? To the person taking? To my bangs?

Where should I look to find what I’m looking for? And how long do I have to find it?